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Joke of the Day
"My insomnia has it's own toothbrush in my bathroom."
Next Joke
"Cloudy with a chance of meatballs? Talk about a meatier shower!"
"I'm only tweeting this to keep myself from looking up from my phone and accidentally making eye contact with a stranger."
"Do you know two places to put water? Well Dam"
"Have you ever had sex while camping.... It's fucking in-tents"
"Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?"
"What do you call a skinny Pakistani cow? A moo-slim."
"Damn it's so cold out i saw woman in two pairs of pajamas at walmart"
"A threesome? Nah not for me. If I wanted to horribly disappoint two other people I'd go out to dinner with my parents"
"I'm making a fortune out of promoting home security systems. The pitch is easy. All I do is say ""Good morning"". At 3am in the morning whilst sitting on the end of their bed."