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Joke of the Day

"Damn it's so cold out i saw woman in two pairs of pajamas at walmart"

"So my son ate the baby Jesus out of our Nativity scene. Now we wait for the religious movement."

"Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He was a fungi. Why did he end up leaving the party? There wasn't mushroom."

"My husband had to sign a form stating he understands his mother's cremation is nonreversible. I weep for our species."

"My friend sat on my drink... It went flat"

"Motion to change the country's motto to: ""America - we're not that bright."""

"My parents say I am a Cancer... I was born in March..."

"I dont trust atoms... I heard they make up everything."

"There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body and some people manage to get on every one."

"Octopus 1-you up for tennis? Octopus 2- I cant my tennis elbows are actin up again Octo1-..we dont have elb Octo2- I DONT WANNA PLAY CARL"