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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense"
Next Joke
"*gets handed a Mario Kart controller at a party* I don't know guys, I've never done this before. *straps on monogrammed driving gloves*"
"When I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult. So yeah....kids are stupid."
"Words can't describe how beautiful you are. But, numbers can. 4/10"
"why does everyone want the new white iphone? don't they know the black one runs faster?"
"My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207..."
"I have decided that I am not a 30 something. I am 29.95, plus shipping and handling."
"So I was doing donuts in my car.. And a cop pulls me over. Now I know what you're thinking, who names their dog Donuts?"
"I'd make a horrible movie murder victim.When I hear strange noises in the night I roll over and figure, eh, they'll work themselves out."
"Cinderella was arrested for sexual assault... She was found sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming, ""Lie you bastard"""