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Joke of the Day

"I'd make a horrible movie murder victim.When I hear strange noises in the night I roll over and figure, eh, they'll work themselves out."

Next Joke
 
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"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""This is not working I'm going to my mum's house."" So, I opened the fridge's door, the light came on and the juice was cold. - What the hell did she mean?"
"Him: Whatcha thinkin about? Me: How ferrets are like if a cat and a scarf had a baby."
"Why did the rockstar turkey get kicked out of the concert? Because he tryptophan."
"Love is overrated it's only 5 pts in Scrabble."
"What do you call a man with his arm up a horses butt? An Amish mechanic."
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"What did the colon tell the large intestine after several hours' worth of diarrhoea? ""Get your shit together"""