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Joke of the Day

"What did the pink panther say when he stepped on an ant hill Dead ant dead ant Dead ant Dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead aaaaant"

"What do you call a fashion designer, who is not yet sure about his new collection? Tommy Hilfigeritout"

"A duck walks into a bar... The bartender says ""Hey, your pants are down."""

"I'd stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff."

"What's an alcoholic's favorite novel? Tequila Mockingbird I made this up just now... I'm so excited about it."

"Not to 1up you but *drops green mushroom on your head*"

"TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Not impressed with the speed of the internet back in my day, I could open my bedroom window in the fall and get Chile."

"I banned birthday parties in the office because if you don't care enough about yourself to take the day off why should we care about you."

"Snack mixes are great because I only want to enjoy 40 percent of what I eat."