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Joke of the Day

"*brings a laser pointer to the Broadway showing of Cats and creates utter mayhem*"

"How do black geese call to white geese? HONKEY! HONKEY!"

"When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice."

"Everyone is self-confident until they see themselves through an iPhone's front camera."

"A man walks into a bar He shits in it ...Sorry"

"Why was the piggy bank invented? To keep the jews away."

"10 years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me! She said no both times. ( )"

"ROMEO:But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? ME:Well if you'd just sod off like I asked, I wouldn't have to throw lamps at you."

"My math teacher used to call me average. How mean!"

"What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions? An algorithm."