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Joke of the Day

"My math teacher used to call me average. How mean!"

"[Doctor's Office] Seal: My flippers are sore. Killer Whale Doctor: Hmm interesting, swim a little closer into my jaws- I MEAN ONTO THE TABLE"

"55 in a 25 and let's just say I wasn't referring to my driving."

"Girl are you the square root of -1? Because you're complex as fuck."

"I suppose I should be thankful that I'm a single adult. Life would be much more complicated if I were multiple adults."

"Confucius say virginity like giant bubble One prick, all gone"

"did you hear about the italian chef? he pasta way"

"What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? ..............you pull the pin and throw it back!"

"Q: What is a bellybutton for? A: It gives a blonde a place to park her gum on the way down."

"I have a gardening tool that I use to dig up large amounts of treasure So yeah, I got a big booty hoe"