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Joke of the Day

"Why don't Chinese Restaurant owners do their dirty dishes? Because it's too much wok! [Sorry, I just made that up!]"

"I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend Until the LSD wears off and I'm actually dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park"

"Sorry it took me 10 months to text you back. I'm a snake now and I typed this with my head."

"Yo momma is so fat... When she got on the scale it said, ""I need your weight not your phone number."""

"7yo: Why can't I have coffee? Me: It'll make u even more energetic than u already are 7: But u drink it all the time& u never have energy!"

"i didn't get your text because i'm lying"

"Happy Teacher's day, Wikipedia."

"Why isn't suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can get is bronze."

"Unfortunately, but sometimes a woman can't find herself a man. She doesn't like the drunken ones, and the sober ones doesn't like her."

"I hear Adrian Peterson is getting into baseball... Apparently he's a great switch hitter."