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Joke of the Day

"How did Godzilla get the job opportunity? Some say he had a foot in the door... and the window... and the wall."

"Autocorrect changed ""stranger"" to ""strangler"" & it made me wonder how often I must have written about murdering people to teach it that."

"How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich? Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed."

"What's the worst way to reply to an ""I Love You"" ?"

"I don't understand Christians They say that gambling is wrong, but they bet their entire life on there being a heaven."

"If stray cats are free, why is Chinese food so expensive?"

"What are the four words that you least want to hear, after having blown Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bill ! Bill who ? Bill-tup area !"

"Me: ""I'd like to pay by card."" Waiter: ""Contactless?"" Me: ""No, you can cuddle me."""

"TIL: Hitler was a very emotional golfer ...Every time his ball went into a bunker, he became suicidal!"