200046

Joke of the Day

"Why was the paranormal convention cancelled? Due to unforseen circumstances"

"Professor: What is an independent variable? Student: A variable who don't need no man"

"What came first - the chicken or the egg? The rooster."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: Besides that."

"Concentration Camps (x-post from /r/Poems) Guess Who? It's a Jew Concentration camps for You! Boo Hoo! It's a Haiku F*** You. Edit: I know it's not a haiku."

"When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, ""DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!"" People always clap when she wakes up."

"Damn girl, are you an appendix because I have no idea what you do but this weird feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."

"You hear about the gay guy who has a job in construction? He works in a manhole."

"""YOU'RE FAT."" - my belt"

"The awkward moment when you realize you have a lot in common with the person you hate."