201524

Joke of the Day

"I always eat what's put in front of me... ...and that's why I'm no longer allowed to be a gynaecologist."

"A girl asked me if I had AIDS... I said: ""Uh, I don't think you can get that from a goat."""

"FAA study of black boxes found in domestic US, fatal, small airplane crashes shows 98% say ""may day"" remaining 2% are pilots from Tennessee who say, ""hey good buddy, hold my beer and watch this"""

"A group of chimpanzees walking out of a Banana Republic is called ""disappointed"" Except for Charlie there, who scored a nice sundress."

"Listen guys, if a 5yo comes up to you and asks if it's true that zombies won't eat kids who eat their broccoli, BACK ME UP, DAMN IT."

"So hard to hurt a vampire's feelings because you can't say ""how do you sleep at night?"" or ""how do you look at yourself in the mirror?"""

"What's the difference between a pedophile and acne? Acne only comes on your face after 12"

"For me, coming out as a teenager was the hardest thing I've experienced. God knows what it must have been like for my mother. Being in labour for that long."

"If I had a dollar for everything I did out of spite... I wouldn't take the money."

"*man choking* Is there a doc in the house? *Dr Pepper rises* *searches man's pockets* Hey ur no doctor! *moustache falls off* *it's Mr Pibb*"