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Joke of the Day

"My friend's dog eats anything and everything. She told me that he was a bottomless Pit...I dunno. He looks more like a Boxer to me."

"A man desperately clings to reality as he laid on his mothers grave. Another man walks by and says ""Good mourning!"""

"There are 3 types of people in this world... Those who can count, and those who can't."

"I didn't want to make a scene but not fluffing my wife's pillows should get the point across that I don't appreciate the way she spoke to me"

"*pulls back your shower curtain* What did you mean by ""creepy"""

"I wrote a play on my computer It's a play on word"

"Diet plan: make friends fatter"

"What is the difference? What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail"

"interviewer: any interests outside of work me: war and space documentaries mom: he means star wars me: mom stay in the car mom: nerd"

"It must be shit having same-sex parents. You either have twice the normal amount of Dad-jokes, or you get stuck in an endless loop of ""Go ask your mother."""