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Joke of the Day

"Why does Thanksgiving feel like a date with Bill Cosby? You wake up 3 hours later drowsy and wondering why you feel like you just got stuffed with dark meat"

"Ever notice how pathetically lonely you are when the person in the next bathroom stall completely ignores your knock knock joke?"

"Yea, let's do that Old bull and young bull are enjoying a snack atop of hill one morning, and the young bull shouts 'let's run down there and fuck all these heifers!' Old bull replies ' let's walk'"

"I had to figure out what to do, to avoid a truck that had run a red light ... ... when suddenly I realized why the baseball had been getting bigger."

"Saw two blind people fighting today. I said, ""I think that the guy with the knife will win!"" They both ran away. Edit: Grammar"

"CLICKBAIT TITLE (*bad pun goes here*) (*necessary edit acknowledging upvotes and more bad puns in comments*) (*necessary second edit for the anon's gold*)"

"Donald Trump said that all the Mexicans he meets love him... they are always telling him he is a cool arrow."

"Did you know frogs can jump higher than houses? This is for two reasons: 1. Frogs have extremely strong hind legs. 2. Houses can't jump."

"How do telepaths have an orgasm? They get their mind blown"

"I'm tired of people ripping on calculus all the time. It derives me crazy."