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Joke of the Day
"What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one"
Next Joke
"Who's your favorite comedian? Friend: who's your favorite comedian Me:Donald Trump Friend:why? Me:Everybody knows Donald trump is a joke"
"I have Alzheimer's disease. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's disease!"
"Fortunately I've never been brainwashed, so my mind gets dirtier each day."
"More tattoo artists really just need to say ""No, I'm not doing that."""
"7: Mama, are you lonely when we go to bed? Me: (Handle this like a great mom. Get the look off your face. Don't laugh.) Of course, sweetie."
"Out on a blind date. I told her, being funny is the 2nd best way to get a girl into bed. She said ""What's the best way?"" I said ""A big knife"" She laughed and said ""You're funny"" I said ""wise choice"""
"What did fish on the kitchen bench say to the other fish? Long time no sea."
"[god, creating ducks] Just like put a surfboard mouth on a big pigeon and make it like a loud idiot. I don't know"
"What does a duck always have behind him? His buttquack"