222018

Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar."

"I got my hair cut this morning and my wife still hasn't said a thing about it. omg, I'm so mad right now I can barely breathe."

"What did the lifeguard say to the hippie? You're too far out, man."

"I have a friend whose fetish is cashews. He's fucking nuts."

"Alien Invasion Will an alien invasion affect my plans for world domination?"

"Job openings. A female HR calls a guy: Lady: Sir, I have two openings. Man: Yes, I know. The lady hangs up."

"LEAVE ME ALONE GRANDMA I'M ENTERTAINING LITERALLY TENS OF PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET"

"What's green and smells like bacon? Kermit The Frog's fingers."

"How do you know you're leading a sad life? When a nymphomaniac tells you ""Let's just be friends."""

"Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud? A: You can almost hear them."