198925

Joke of the Day

"I got my hair cut this morning and my wife still hasn't said a thing about it. omg, I'm so mad right now I can barely breathe."

"The cannibal nervously decided to try his first human meal Much to his dismay, he got cold feet"

"Felons would be a really valuable voting base... After all, we know they have conviction."

"I quit my job as a coffee shop manager The daily grind was just too much"

"My house is full of Valentines cards. I'm not a legend though Just a lazy postman"

"What's the difference between a 100 year old and a 4 year old? What base you're counting in."

"What's the difference between a joke and a pussy There's a chance you might actually get a joke."

"everyone i ever dated is impressed when i namedrop foreign authors but never bothers to check if they're just ikea product names (they are)"

"What is the worst icebreaker? The Titanic"

"I always go the extra mile at work. That's why I'm a terrible taxi driver."