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Joke of the Day

"Job openings. A female HR calls a guy: Lady: Sir, I have two openings. Man: Yes, I know. The lady hangs up."

"Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall into the cup of hot chocolate."

"There once was a magician who got so angry... That he pulled out his hare."

"I couldn't decide how much lettuce to buy Until someone helped me think it through. Turns out, two heads are better than one."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Gangsta Barbie ...complete set of Raiders apparel; rap cassette included"

"I told my wife I was making venison for dinner.. She said ""oh, deer"""

"What do you call a chica on the go? Chicago"

"Why did the stoner put laxatives in the pot brownies? For shits and giggles"

"Scientists have recently discovered a virus that increases the apathy of those infected. No one seems to care."

"Just used shampoo so fortifying that a giant brick wall manifested around me in the shower & I guess this is my home now."