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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud? A: You can almost hear them."

"I'm planning on opening a combined cocktail bar and waxing salon. I'm going to call it ""Gin and Bare It""."

"In the city of Chicago There are 3 streets that rhyme with vagina. Paulina, Malvina and Lunt."

"Why did they invent the shopping cart? To teach women to walk on their hind legs."

"If it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down. That leaves a wide range of colors I have no idea what to do with."

"[Halloween] Lady: what are you this this year? Me: *dressed as a phone battery meter* I'm at 10% and it's only 7pm. Lady: *faints*"

"What do you have when you have two balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention!"

"Your mother is so big that... ...when she is in a plane it makes a solar eclipse."

"Go to a Mexican restaurant, get a table for two, tell them you're waiting for your date & then eat free chips & salsa for 7 years."

"Trix are for kids. calling your penis trix because trix are for kids. wait no ( ._.)?"