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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I stuck a cheese puff in your baby's mouth when you couldn't find a pacifier."

"What Operating System does a Redditor use? Fedora Linux!"

"What happens when Niagara trips? Niagara Falls"

"My doctor told me I'm suffering from a Superman complex. But I couldn't stay for long, so I had to fly."

"Airline food is getting worse and worse The passengers on the Germanwings flight said it tasted like they were literally eating rocks."

"Forgot my wallet at home & filled up at the gas station so I have to leave some collateral. Not leaving my phone there so 4 year old it is."

"Nobody thinks my march madness bracket will win I just can't see why people would dismiss a team that beat professional organizations last year. I say Golden State all the way."

"People who say they're in the best shape of their lives are usually about to die."

"[interrogation] ""Where were you on the night of the 5th?"" ""Dealing drugs."" ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] ""Healing pugs. I'm a pug vet."""

"I love to play with my balls. I've been trying to meet a woman with the same hobby."