222016

Joke of the Day

"Kids, rap music has been around since 1979, we've all heard it. You aren't being edgy by playing it loudly at an intersection."

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"please please tell me that benedict cumberbatch's middle initial is Q"
"Breaking Celebrity News! Academy Award winning Actor, Simmons, and children's book Author, Rowling, eloped earlier today. JK"
"How do you keep an idiot busy? loading..."
"I was in a job interview. The guy said, ""What's your biggest weakness?"" I said, ""I'm a great listener."""
"Why does r/jokes smell like rotten eggs? Because it's full of bad yolks."
"Chess says everything about men and women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants."
"Did you guys hear about the football player who hits women? No the other one. No the other one."
"You sneeze more than 5 times in a row and I'm gonna start performing an exorcism."
"INTERVIEWER: what's your greatest strength? ME: I'm good at untying knots INTERVIEWER: oh thank god can u get these running shoes off of me?"