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Joke of the Day
"please please tell me that benedict cumberbatch's middle initial is Q"
Next Joke
"I was once kicked out of fat camp for being a little debbie downer."
"People can be so easy to read. Like if their face is red, they're embarrassed. Or if their skin is brown, they're about to commit a crime."
"Spent the day attempting crazy driving stunts because I forgot to read the fine print at the bottom of a car commercial."
"I've been in line at the DMV for 1.5 hrs so my distaste for the general population is at an all time high right now."
"me:(nervously) so I gotta fight one of these things? zookeeper: what? no me: I choose...the polar bear zookeeper: why would you choose that"
"[Spelling bee] Judge: ""Your word is unhelpful."" Kid: ""Can you use it in a sentence please?"" Judge: ""Nope."""
"What do you call a reptile detective ? An investigator Sorry"
"My girlfriend has twelve breasts. It seems kind of freaky, dozen-tit?"
"It's Black Friday, and I just got an iPhone 6 for my wife I thought it was a good trade. Thanks to /u/darcyboy on this one!"