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Joke of the Day

"My grandson asked me what it's like to be married so I told him to leave me alone. When he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me"

"Hitting on women is like doing Parkour.. I can't do Parkour."

"QUESTION: What do you get from a bee that has an udder? ANSWER: Milk and honey."

"What did the nihilist say to the physicist? Nevermind, it doesn't really matter."

"Lately I've gotten into donkey porn... ...it really gets MEEE OFFFFF!"

"I hate snakes because they have no feet. You could say I'm... lacktoes intolerant *opens another beer*"

"This fat hate on reddit has been ridiculous lately. Come on, give them a break. They have enough on their plates already."

"I don't get why I'm supposed to like someone who's different in the streets and in the sheets sounds duplicitous just be a freak everywhere."

"What do you call a large pile of kittens? A meowntain."

"There are two types of people in the world. Those that can find an answer through simple deduction."