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Joke of the Day

"It's confusing for me too, but I don't need your money so you're going to have to be a nice guy if this is going to work out."

"Did you hear the one about the gay couple who were perfect for each other? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald."

"Why can't pirates finish the alphabet? because they get lost at C!"

"What does a woman's asshole do when she has an orgasm? Usually I'm working."

"What do you call an oyster who can't find another job? A clamboni driver!"

"Ok honey don't freak out, but someone broke into the house, ate all the ice cream, smashed that picture of your mother, and didn't do the dishes."

"[swirls, sniffs and sips red wine] Yes, this is delicious. I will have a glass. Ma'am, this is a church, let go of the cup and sit down."

"How to tell if someone has Rhotacism? Ask them to pronounce it."

"Barney Stinson ask god ""God,why do you make woman so beautiful?"" ""So you'll love her"" God reply. ""Then why do you make them so dumb?"" ""So they'll love you"", *Ba dum tss*"

"What did one crab say to the other? ""Damn this bitch is nasty!"""