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Joke of the Day

"Barney Stinson ask god ""God,why do you make woman so beautiful?"" ""So you'll love her"" God reply. ""Then why do you make them so dumb?"" ""So they'll love you"", *Ba dum tss*"

"Whats the best time to go to the dentist? 4:30pm It let's you out of work a bit early with a valid excuse"

"Dad: ""Son, if you don't stop masturbating you're gonna go blind."" Son: ""I'm over here Dad."""

"What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell? Addercadabra and abradacobra."

"Why is Edward still in Russia? Because he is Snowd*en*"

"The best thing about the first day at a new job is nobody knows I only have one outfit."

"As I see it, the act of lovemaking should be sacred, caring, and worth the 200 bucks I charge for it."

"don't you just hate it when a zombie breaks into your home and starts doing their ironing right in front of the TV"

"Super soakers are like training wheels for black kids in the hood."

"A woman and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Where'd you get the pig."" The woman says, ""That's not a pig, that's a duck."" He says, ""I was talking to the duck."""