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Joke of the Day

"What does a woman's asshole do when she has an orgasm? Usually I'm working."

"My girlfriend's dad called me a pedophile just because I'm 34 and she's 23... ...he totally ruined our 10 year anniversary."

"I went for a run but came back home after 5 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes"

"Fun prank: a chameleon exhibit with no chameleon."

"I like sex. My wife is pregnant! We are going to have a boy or abortion."

"What's long, black and doesn't work? The unemployment line."

"Me: What are your plans for tonight? 13: Think I'll hang out with you and mom. Me: Goddammit...uh I mean that's great."

"Drake like his women like... I like my Mustang... 47 years old."

"I fell in the mud. And took a shower right after!"

"A Buddhist monk was on the streets of New York and he stopped at a hotdog stand. The vendor asks, ""what would you like on it?"" to which he replied,""Make me one with everything""."