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Joke of the Day

"3 rules for having good teeth: brush and floss twice a day, see your dentist twice a year, and keep your nose out of other peoples business."

"Did you hear about the girl that backed into an airplane propeller? Disaster"

"I am friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know y"

"I bet the hardest thing about being a gangsta rapper is never being able to really enjoy a scone in public."

"Neighbour: Haven't I seen you on TV? Actor: Well I do appear on and off you know. How do you like me? Neighbour: Off."

"You are so ugly when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away."

"If a soccer player falls in the forest and nobody is there to see it, do they still flail their arms and cry and act like a big dumb baby?"

"What did the magician say to the cell? Might I conjure Ya?"

"An Owl and a Squirrel are sitting in a tree watching a farmer mow the lawn.... ...The Owl says nothing because Owls can't talk, the Owl then eats the Squirrel because it's a bird of prey."

"People that don't tweet for months and then show up like nothing happened... Was it jail? I bet it was jail."