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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you combine a parrot and a centipede? A walkie talkie!"

"You know what the best part of having dyslexia is? I have sex daily"

"What's the difference between Jesus and Sasha Grey? The look on their face while being nailed."

"Girls have an unfair advantage over men: If they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb."

"Come on Fred I'll take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me let them come and get me!"

"Why was the burger thrown out of the Army? He couldn't pass mustard! (muster)"

"Just used my phone to record my wife snoring. She'd kill me if I ever played this in front of her friends. So... I guess this is goodbye."

"Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out the window"

"Yesterday I clicked on 10 Things You Didn't Know About Denny's and number one was ""It used to be called Danny's."" get OUT of here"

"Always wondered why female sentence fragments are so chill No period"