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Joke of the Day

"Today Happy fathers day kids"

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"What's the difference between a deaf person and an Italian? One talks with their hands and makes goofy noises at random volumes, and the other can't hear."
"FYI- Clear plastic bra straps make you look like you're stuffed in a 6-pack ring."
"What did one condom say to the other at a gay bar? Let's get shitfaced!"
"My cat rolled on my weed tray and now half my weed is stuck in her fur......Do I smoke my cat?"
"What do you call someone with a successful life? Certainly not me."
"The Vatican just deleted all the Pope's tweets. Because NO ONE denies reality like the Catholic Church."
"what do you call a sad tree? Mourning wood"
"The best thing about Twitter is that I can reveal my deepest and darkest secrets and you dumbasses think I'm joking."
"On bad days I like to take a pregnancy test to remind myself that things could be much worse."