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Joke of the Day

"If I had a nickel for every time I had sex, I would ask my pimp for a raise."

"Apple CEO Tim Cook has come out as gay. This totally explains why the new iPhone charger holes became tighter after Steve Jobs died."

"Miss Universe pageant will be awesome when the sluts from other planets finally decide to show up."

"Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't? The dime had more cents."

"What did the blind deaf mute boy in a wheelchair get for Christmas? Cancer!"

"[NSFW] What did the sperm say to the egg? Cum with me if you want to live."

"Thinking of getting my hair did and maybe also work on my grammar."

"I am on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it."

"What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife? Ceasar"

"When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?"