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Joke of the Day

"BRUCE LEE: Be formless, shapeless, like water. HARPER LEE: Things are never as bad as they seem. PARSLEY: I am a stalk vegetable."

"Made this up at lunch So a man robs a bank with a condom on his head. He then yells: ""This is a Stick-Up!"""

"Have you heard about the Tempura Shelter they are opening downtown? It's a center for lightly battered women."

"The worst part about online dating is when the girl lists her weight as 115lbs, but when you're lifting her to put her in your trunk, she's obviously well over 140."

"What has six eyes but can't see? Three blind mice."

"the guy at Subway just put Cheetos on my sandwich. can't tell if he's stoned, or he knows that I am"

"I'm gonna write a book about the Amish... its really a hit or Amish."

"Why is Santa always so jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live."

"An attractive woman at a bar orders a double entendre. The bartender gives it to her."

"All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is that intelligent men don't get into relationships."