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Joke of the Day

"I'm gonna write a book about the Amish... its really a hit or Amish."

"""You make me so wet."" - me, to my shower."

"My wife was choking so I quickly googled ""how to save a life"" Was a good song to drown out the noise she was making."

"I've got 40 raisins in my savings account ...oh no wait, that's my currant account."

"Diner: Waitress the portions are getting smaller. Waiter: It's just an optical illusion. It's just that the restaurant has been enlarged."

"No more ""if you're bf stops playing his game to text you..."" If your girlfriend understands to give texting a rest when you're playing video games, marry her."

"Then god created Saturn, And he liked it. So he put a ring on it"

"What do you call a pink slip served in a coffee bag? Grounds for termination!"

"Have you heard about the midget psychic who broke out of jail? He's a small medium at large!"

"Drink responsibly? Responsibility is why I drink."