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Joke of the Day

"Good news! I'm not a 30 year old virgin anymore! Happy birthday to me!"

"When Gwen Stefani goes to Hawaii I bet she aint no mahaloback girl either."

"PATIENT: I broke my arm in 3 places DOCTOR: Then dont go to those places!"

"Why do some race drivers hate wet tracks? Because the water is a distraction."

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong socks today."

"I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night."

"Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief & suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called a Wedding Cake!!"

"ME: ""I don't like this movie."" HIM: ""We are at a funeral."" ME: ""Who directed this?"" HIM: ""A bear attack."" ME: ""Never heard of him."""

"Why did the cat sleep under the car ? Because she wanted to wake up oily !"

"What's so cool about taking a picture of a bathroom mirror?"