149378

Joke of the Day

"What's so cool about taking a picture of a bathroom mirror?"

"What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Can you make me one with everything?"

"ISIS and I have something in common... We both get head through the use of violence and terror..."

"What's the difference between rearranging your schedule and getting to second base with an ex-girlfriend? One is playing with your priorities, the other is playing with prior titties!"

"Did you see the guy who didn't have a right hand? No, he left"

"What's the difference between an airport shop and a golf course covered in bacon? One's a duty free, the others a Jew free tee."

"What did Christian Grey say to Anastasia before they sex for the first time? Don't worry, I'll show you the ropes."

"What's the difference between a refugee and E.T? E.T learned English and wanted to go home"

"What does a duck like to have for breakfast? Quacker Oats"

"[gf falls asleep during a movie] ME: aw [i get a blanket] ME: *hitting her w/ the blanket* wake up ur missing the part with gollum's riddles"