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Joke of the Day

"The industrious prostitute Well there was this prostitute who had a vagina surgically implanted in her hip...so she could make some money on the side."

"Just saw a homeless guy fall asleep with a lit cigarette in his mouth. Which probably explains why he's homeless."

"ISSUE: is the road runner wile e coyote's son FOR: thhey, seem to respect each other, on some level AGAINST: one of them is a dog"

"Holocaust joke best joke A jew is disobeing order in a work camp. SS officer comes to him showing 2 soap bars in the hand: ""This is your mother and this your father"""

"Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless."

"I know the voices in my head aren't real but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!"

"My grandfather once told me, ""Your generation is too reliant on technology."" So I replied, ""No, *your* generation is too reliant on technology!"" Then I disconnected his life support."

"""HONEY, MY TOOTHBRUSH IS MOVING!"" ""Has it got ears?"" ""YEAH."" ""Tail?"" ""YEAH."" ""Is it the dog?"" ""I THINK I KNOW THE DIFF--AH IT BIT ME AGAIN!"""

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean Beef What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mother"

"What do gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can both smell it but can't eat it."