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Joke of the Day

"I've heard like eight cancer jokes today... If I hear another one it's gonna benign"

"My husband got some virtual reality goggles for christmas and so far I like them because they make him very vulnerable to attack."

"Who is a Graduate student's least favorite Greek Hero? Thesus"

"You guys! I'm so excited, I just hooked up with my crush from middle school. ...but now she keeps calling me expecting me to show up at her graduation."

"BELLHOP: May I take care of your bags? ME: Of course! BELLHOP: [gently applies seven layers of concealer under my eyes]"

"Did you hear about the angry pancake!? Well one day he ***flipped***!!!"

"Why are so many Koreans named Park? Because the ones named Drive all died in crashes."

"I tried giving a gentle reminder to my kids about cleaning their rooms, but a megaphone works much better."

"Some people say Glenn Frey got pneumonia from the cold... But that can't be true because he said the Heat is On."

"a hot girl asked me what came first, the chicken or the egg? I answered truthfully "" it's usually me""."