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Joke of the Day

"What's more fun then swinging a baby on a clothes line? Stopping it with a shovel."

"According to all these ""note to self"" sticky notes I am a very forgetful person also I have no idea what these notes mean"

"So I just flashed my hard drive. Though why showing my computer my schlong is meant to speed it up I'll never know."

"HR: You're late. Do you even know what time it is? Thor: Hammer time? HR: Get out."

"I keep trying to think of the unit for frequency... It hertz my head."

"Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn? The kernel was looking for him."

"My dentist told me I grind at night I was unaware he even saw me at the club"

"White men can jump to conclusions."

"At an Irish wedding, someone said, ""Would all the married men stand next to the one person that has made your life worth living?"" The bartender was almost crushed to death."

"Just once I'd like someone to call me ""ma'am"" without having to add ""you need to calm down or we're going to have to ask you to leave"""