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Joke of the Day

"So I joined a fantasy football league I realize that I don't watch football, but I really wanted to see Gandalf pass the ball to Hermione only to be intercepted by a dragon."

Next Joke
 
"Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have phones."
"Bought a bag of Sweetheart candies & cracked my tooth on one.When I spit it out & looked at it,itsaid ""Next time call when you say you will"""
"""911 what's your emergency?"" MY WIFE IS BEATING MY KIDS! ""Okay. I'll send the police"" *hangs up. OH CRAP I FORGOT TO SAY ""AT MARIOKART"""
"The store that has everything. I keep hearing about this amazing store that has EVERYTHING. Unfortunately I cant find it anywhere... anyone know where ""Participating Locations"" is at?"
"What do you call a feminist that raps about women's rights? Feminem"
"How many reporters does it take to get a headline with ISIS?"
"What do you call a nymphomaniac graffiti artist? Bonksy"
"What do you call two turds getting intimate in heaven? Holy Fucking Shit."
"Ok how about a nail polish line for office ladies with colors like Legal pad, Non-dairy creamer, Mug stain, Excel, Boss neck..."