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Joke of the Day

"A lethal injection that takes two hours has no place in a civilized society. And it shouldn't happen in Arizona either."

"A guy goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide The librarian looks at him and says, ""Fuck off, you won't return it!"""

"Today I went to a zoo. It was empty except for a dog. It was a shih tzu."

"""Daddy, do you like princesses?"" ""Yes."" ""Why?"" ""Well usually they have a nice set of ti-"" Wife: ""Shut it."" ""I WILL NOT LIE TO MY SON."""

"If Obama said If President Obama said he was in favor of oxygen, republicans would suffocate themselves."

"Who is the most famous DJ in Australia? DJ Redo"

"What did one passive aggressive republican say to the passive aggressive democrat? I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed."

"Not to get technical, but according to Chemistry...Alcohol is a solution."

"I sexually identify as a brick. I'm always hard and I've only been laid once."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It doesn't last long for fat people."