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Joke of the Day

"""Daddy, do you like princesses?"" ""Yes."" ""Why?"" ""Well usually they have a nice set of ti-"" Wife: ""Shut it."" ""I WILL NOT LIE TO MY SON."""

"What's the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver? The drunk driver runs the stop sign. The stoned driver waits for it to turn green."

"""Tony, why do you always go around spelling your name backwards?"" Tony: ""Why not?"""

"Happy Thursday guys and remember. If you can't spot the douche at work today, then it's probably you."

"Someone just caught me picking my nose at a stop light. Had to just cut my losses and run the red light."

"Women are like modern art... They're hard to figure out, and we're not really sure if they even have a purpose."

"How many dead-heads does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just let it burn out and follow it around for twenty years."

"What makes cows and horses so valuable? They have a lot of moo/neigh."

"Did you hear about the new nightclub that opened called ""Erectile Dysfunction""? No? I'm not surprised; it was a complete flop. Nobody came."

"What do you find in an elephants graveyard ? Elephantoms !"