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Joke of the Day

"A guy goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide The librarian looks at him and says, ""Fuck off, you won't return it!"""

"You know what's stupider than a cow? Two cows."

"LPT: If you don't have a SO, pray to God every night and see if that works. If not... try Satan."

"Why does your blood rush to your head when you're upside down but not to your feet when you're right side up? Your feet aren't empty."

"How do you get a 90 year old lady to yell fuck? Get another 90 year old to yell ""BINGO!"""

"Why did 2pac go to the gym? So he could become 8pac. To clarify, my 11 year old niece told me this. Thought this sub needed to lighten up a bit."

"You know, you don't realise what you've got until you don't have it. I just ran out of toilet paper ..."

"- ""I love Beyonce... - Whatever floats your boat dude. - No, you're thinking of 'buoyancy'. - ..."""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see Gregory Peck."

"If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer ...oh wait, he does."