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Joke of the Day

"When a cop pulls you over, pull out a map and ask them for directions until they forget that they pulled you over. -me, right now"

"What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon?"

"Million Dollar Idea: Teach pugs to DJ, create a new genre of music...pugstep."

"What do you call a cockroach filing a complaint? A Bug report"

"How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One."

"What do you call a skinny misogynist? Skinny or fat, I find that they prefer to think of themselves as ""egalitarian""."

"Brake fluid I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime."

"Yo mama's so old... Her age has to be expressed in scientific notation!"

"How many good presidential candidates does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Its gonna be a dark four years, now isn't it?"

"The EU has said that more needs to be done to help the Syrian refugees, especially the children. May I recommend swimming lessons?"