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Joke of the Day
"My girl's got the Dubstep of Periods... I'm waiting forever for it to drop"
Next Joke
"George Bush"
"People who take things literally on twitter, stop. Wait. First take this tweet literally, then stop."
"I used to think that ""Lacrosse""... Was what the French called that thing that Jesus carried on his back."
"Work is for people who don't know how to fish."
"""IT'S 3AM! TIME FOR SPRINTS!"" - Cats"
"You'd think that people who kept their head warm would tend to be healthier... but as it turns out, people who wear turbans are actually more likely to be Sikh"
"If you're 17 and your 200 year old lover won't turn you into a vampire so you can be together forever, he's just not that into you."
"CarefulWhere's your shoesPlease stop cryingMaybe eat somethingYou dropped the bottle- things you say to babies & drunks."
"I met a cute deaf girl at a bar the other day... ... that bitch still hasn't returned any of my calls."