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Joke of the Day

"I met a cute deaf girl at a bar the other day... ... that bitch still hasn't returned any of my calls."

"Money is a good servant... ... but a bad master."

"Why did one european country eat the other? Because it was Hungary"

"""DIDN'T THE KIDS JUST HAVE A DAY OFF SCHOOL LAST MONTH!?!"" ~A parent's memoir."

"Do you guys know the difference between ""girlfriend"" and ""girl friend?"" ... that little empty void in the middle.. Known as the ""friend zone"" .."

"Guys, if a girl just wants to ""be friends,"" then borrow $100 from her and never pay her back. Like a ""friend"" would."

"[Me, watching my murderer wipe down everything as I'm dying]: ""Oh, you don't have to do that, don't worry about it."""

"Co-worker felt bad about throwing away a donation request from the Alzheimer's Association. I told him not to worry, they won't remember who they sent those to anyway."

"How are America and McDonald's similar? They are both run by red-headed clowns."

"I know it's illegal for me to cook my own alcohol... But still."