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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the lady that had breast implants made of oak? It would be nice if this joke had a punch line, woodentit?"

Next Joke
 
"What happens when you take acid with a birth control pill? A trip without the kids"
"I took your girlfriend out for some Chipotle last week...... guacamole wasn't the only thing she wanted extra on the side."
"What's the capital of Greece? Right now about $2.55 AUD."
"My friend just ordered a kale and quinoa salad and a side of eggplant fries and now I'm blinded by whiteness."
"Whats a black persons favorite dance move the whip"
"What's the name of a musical collaboration between Shia LaBeouf and a Judge? A just duet."
"Changed my outgoing voicemail message to ""You have reached the government."""
"I was a bit upset that the condom I found in my wallet had expired but at the end of the day I'm just glad my wallet practices safe sex."
"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years, Come on guys I don't have 2020 vision"