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Joke of the Day

"My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested."

"LOL there's like 20 guys w/ ""Female Body Inspector"" windbreakers that's hilarious they're seizing my hard drive & business records LMAO"

"Nobody ever sneezes in movies."

"How many minutes equal one orgasm ? One eight year old."

"You drunkenly fall into one bathtub with your pants around your ankles, breaking the curtain rod and all of a sudden, everyone is a critic"

"Football player Michael Sam got picked up by the Cowboys... He's the first openly gay cowboy since Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain."

"If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child what would he be called? A subordinate claus."

"I used to be confused by the quote ""with age comes wisdom"", but now that I'm older, I think I've finally figured it out."

"When I was 15, the headmaster called me into his office and informed me that he had decided to make me Head Boy.I was really chuffed for about 10 seconds, then he started to unzip his trousers"

"Neutrinos ""Sorry we don't serve neutrinos,"" says the barman. A neutrino walks into a bar."