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Joke of the Day
"Horrible funny joke What do you call an alligator in a vest....? An Invest-agator"
Next Joke
"I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather. Not screaming and flailing about, like his passengers."
"Alcohol doesn't get people drunk, people get people drunk. Drunk people get other drunk people extra drunk. People drunk people drunk people"
"Thursday is like your high school boyfriend. It feels good but you know something better is right around the corner."
"I can't make it tonight. There's a couple fighting at Target and the guy just started sarcastically clapping. I need to see where this goes."
"Was going to tell my wife a joke about quantum theory... ...but I didn't want to Bohr here"
"Did ya hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated RRRR!"
"Honey I Shrunk the Kids IV: They shrink everyone on earth on purpose The planet will never run out of resources Everyone is eaten by ants"
"We get it, cacti, you have great biceps."
"What do you get when a short bus gets in a wreck? Mashed potatoes."