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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lighter that is only used for weed? A highlighter Edit: Or a Bud Light Courtesy of u/isnottoast"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Gagsalotofdong"

"They found Ellen Degeneres dead today. She was face down in Ricki Lake. Did I do it right this time?"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ben Hur! Ben Hur who ? Ben Hur an hour - let me in!"

"How does an Arab farmer find his goat in the sand dunes? Very satisfying."

"[getting a haircut] BARBER: anything else? ME: cut me BARBER: what? no ME: like sweeney todd BARBER: i'm no- ME:make me into a pie"

"I used to have a fear of speed bumps But I'm slowly getting over it"

"Why do porn stars make terrible boxers? Because they don't know how to make a proper fist."

"Before mustaches were invented, people had to just GUESS who owned a water bed"

"WHAT DO YOU CALL A FAKE NOODLE? AN IMPASTA."