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Joke of the Day

"The kid next door just challenged me to a water fight, so I thought I'd tweet this while I wait for the water to boil..."

"So, Burt and Ernie are just sitting at home, when Burt looks over at Ernie and asks, ""Hey Ernie, do you want to get some ice cream?"" Then Ernie said, ""Sure Burt."""

"No, I do not have food in my teeth; haven't you ever heard of tooth freckles? Now go away & leave me that toothpick. Jerk."

"what did they call the Mexican after losing a finger minus juan"

"I'll never forget what my grandfather told me before he died. He said ""Never forget what I'm about to tell you"" then some story about corn."

"(I rest my foot on a woman's purse as she's walking down the street) hey how's it going"

"What do you call a corny joke? A maize zing!!!"

"Q: When is a pig not quite a pig? A: When it's oink-ognito."

"Oh I'm sorry.. I didn't know it was ""bring your feelings to work day""."

"What do you call a rich man's white tank top? A trophy wife beater."