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Joke of the Day

"The kid next door just challenged me to a water fight, so I thought I'd tweet this while I wait for the water to boil..."

"ok honey, you're going to love this movie. all you need to know is that ""robocop"" is short for ""robot cop"""

"A love letter from a biscuit maker to a girl: Dear marie, today is good day, you are anmol for me, But u have crack jacked my heart, because i have a little heart, And now i m in 50/50 position."

"I just got asked to work on a ""special project"" which is boss for ""This was assigned to me but you're smarter so here you do it."""

"What did Donald Trump say to the guy who immolated himself in front of Trump tower? ""You're fired!"""

"All women are crazy but if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will let you live."

"What do you call a prostitute with white eyes? Full up."

"Every day, there's a kid coming to my store looking for trouble... And every day, I tell him we're sold out. Can't he buy Monopoly instead?"

"What do you get when you put a dinosaur and a bomb together? Dinomite!!!!! *budum tssst*"

"Dear Google Maps, Don't insult me by telling me to head ""southwest"". If I knew where southwest was, I wouldn't be using you. Kthnxbye"