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Joke of the Day

"Can you imagine how hard it must be to intern a suicide bomber? You need three years experience to even apply!"

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"Clocks in Heaven"
"Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."
"How much do pirates charge for piercings? A buck an ear."
"What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath? One has hope in her soul..."
"If women ruled the world, there would be no wars... Just bunch of countries not talking to each other"
"Divorce is tough on some kids. Mine were just happy to be single again."
"What do you give an actor playing the role of an angry street gang member? Mad props..."
"2 hours into dieting] omg I'm so lightheaded"
"I felt a twinge of sadness when I released my daughter would be leaving for college in a year. I have to wait a whole fucking year"
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