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Joke of the Day

"Whats the hardest thing about a pedophile. His dick."

"It's all fun and games till someone loses an eye; unless you're Stevie Wonder, then it's just ironic."

"[date] Her: so you're a mathematician? Me: no actually I'm a *pythagorean doves fly out of my sleeve and hit her in the face* mathemagician"

"At some point shouldn't airlines be embarrassed their airplanes are older than those cars people drive in Cuba?"

"How do you keep a redditor in suspense? [removed]"

"i don't think women should stay in the kitchen... i mean, how are they supposed to clean the rest of the house from there?"

"This poster that says ""Green Day: Sold Out"" is right in two ways"

"I'm a senior in college with 2 semesters left, and I'm considering picking up a minor Do I lie about my age, or do I just offer to buy her cigarettes and booze?"

"Teacher: did you cheat on your math test? Me: [remembering having sex with a history exam] umm no way"

"What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'merry Christmas'? They are both santa clauses."